act SUPER natural
by Fan of Fan Fic
Summary: The Fringe team investigates the owners of a supernatural car. There will be redvines. There will be bra inspections. There will be a guy from the wiener hut with extra cheese sauce. Guess what? It's a SUPER-parody.


Chapter 1: Hey man. Sam or Dean?

Somewhere on the outskirts of Boston, A black car of unknown origin, name or make smashed violently into an abandoned barn on a suspiciously haunted looking property. The barn collapsed on impact, catching fire immediately before exploding from a mysterious fuel source. The car was unharmed.

"You alright man?"

"Yeah man, you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm alright man…It's just, I can't stop thinking about Monica."

"You mean Jessica?"

"I mean Jessica, man. I can't stop thinking about Jessica. I think we got those ghosts man."

The doors to the car opened amidst the flaming wreckage. Although it had already been confirmed that the ghosts had been thoroughly 'got'. Both guys from the vehicle decided that extra precautions were needed. At the same time they both raised their weapons and pulled the triggers furiously into the empty desecrated barn.

"PEW PEW PEW!" Said Dean.

"BAM BAM BAM!" Said Sam.

"Whew, that was a lot of work," said Dean. "I'm tired man, you tired man?"

"Yeah," said Sam. "I mean…I just can't stop thinking about dad."

"I know man, I know," said Dean. "But we definitely got those ghosts. Let's hit the road."

They turned around to discover that the car was gone.

FRINGE opening credit sequence in Magenta

"Ah, you know what this car reminds me of?" Walter Bishop was examining a strange black car that had been placed in the Harvard University basement.

Peter sighed. "I don't know, Walter. Alternate universes? Artificial Intelligence? The possibility of alien life forms?"

"…Alien life forms?" Walter chuckled. "No no, Peter. This car reminds me of an old show I used to watch called Knight Rider, in which a talking car… well, never mind. The point is, Astro should have been back here hours ago with my red vines!"

Olivia walked by Peter with a stack of papers and they shared a 'look'.

"You know how he is with red vines," Peter said in a way that sounded totally smart and sexy. "He always needs a snack."

"I'm splicing them with the genes of this remarkable vehicle to make a smoothie," Walter announced, a brave twinkle in his eye. "Me and Belly did love our smoothies."

"Find anything about that car in those papers?" asked Peter, giving Olivia another 'look'.

She 'looked' back and said, "I googled the show Knight Rider. Apparently it's popular with old people and David Hasslehoffs. This car is one of three existing models, however all three are accounted for."

"Then how is there a fourth?" asked Peter, raising a brow to accentuate his 'look'.

Everybody 'looked' at each other as Astrid showed up with the Red Vines. It was time for an investigation.

"STOP!" Broyles announced, barging in. "Before you go anywhere you should know that we have an eyewitness being held in upper Boston. Apparently he's seen an episode of Knight Rider first hand and can supply us with all the gory, hair feathered details."

"I'm on it!" Said Peter and Olivia at the same time. The look they exchanged at this moment was so intense that some viewers mistook the show for Downton abbey. But it was not Downton Abbey.

"No, I'm on it," said Broyles. "The two of you are going to investigate the owners of the vehicle."

"We know who they are?" Asked Olivia.

"Yes," said Broyles. "Neither has made the attempt to hide his identity despite being accused of multiple cases of identity fraud and armed assault on planes." He handed them pictures of the suspects.

"Sounds fishy to me." Said Peter. "Just like when Walter eats sardines…I'm so witty."

Olivia looked at the pictures. "Sam and Dean Winterfresh?" She asked. "Which ones which?"

"I don't know. You all look the same to me." Said Broyles, and walked away.

Later:

"Can you tell us what you were doing at the moment of the car's mysterious disappearance?" asked Olivia. She and Peter had tracked Dean and Sam down in a Hooter's Bar just out of Boston, where the men had been performing routine bra checks.

"What we were doing, man?" asked Sam… or Dean, Olivia still wasn't certain. "Uh, nothing man. Nothing. We were just doing nothing."

"Yeah man," said the other one. "We're just some regular dudes, man. Actually… we don't even own a car so maybe we should just get going now."

"We already know who you are!" Olivia snapped. She wasn't normally this snappy but they had been going over the same subject for roughly two hours now and Peter kept oggling the waitresses and then insisting that he thought he had been oggling her. Nice try, Peter.

"Oh… yeah, see, I don't think you do," said Dean… or Sam, as he stood up from the table.

"Yes, you're Sam and Dean Winterfresh and it isn't up for anymore discussion."

"Hey back off!" said Sam.. Or Dean. "You have no idea what you're dealing with, man. You're just what ever and I hate you!"

He stormed off from the table leaving Dean… or Sam behind.

"Sorry man," said Sam…or Dean. "He just gets like this sometimes. Now ma'am, I have reason to believe that your bra has been possessed by a ghost member of the KKK. Would you mind if I examined it?"

"Who told you?!" Asked Olivia in a demon voice. Peter was too busy ordering wings to notice.

"Whoah man!" Said Sam…or Dean.

"So," said Peter, all back to business. "What do you know about that car of yours?"

"What car?" Asked Sam or Dean. "Oh, you mean my brother's car. The car we use to go across the country catching wendigos and things. The super secret car I'm not supposed to talk about. Is that the car you're talking about?" The brother now identified as the Sam one (or one who did not own the car.) looked suddenly very depressed. "I just wish I'd gotten along better with dad. Y'know?"

"I know," said Olivia. "We have that in your file. Why did the two of you abandon your car in a Porsche dealer parking lot?"

Suddenly Dean Emerged from the bathroom where he'd either been crying or snorting crack (either way his nose was red.) "I didn't leave my car anywhere!" He announced into the boobs of a hooters waitress. "My car goes where it wants to go! I just put it into auto pilot and it drives itself places…Thank you ma'am, your bra appears to be bearing the load well."

"You're so brave," said the waitress.

"I'm just a guy." Said Dean. "Just doing my job."

"Wait…what?" Asked Peter. "That's a job?!" He was starting to think that maybe he should have entered a different field of study.

Suddenly Olivia's phone began ringing with the fringe theme song. She got up very importantly and gave a waitress a stern glare, chasing her away from Peter.

"Agent Dunham," she said, into the phone.

Peter sat down at the table with Sam and scooted over so Dean could join them.

"So… about this job…"

"We're just guys," said Dean.

"Just guys," echoed Sam.

"Doing our job."

"What job?" Asked Peter.

"It's a secret job!" Said Dean. "Now shut up or I'll kill you."

Olivia finished her phone conversation and returned to the table with an urgent but quietly reserved look on her face. As if she were haunted by her past but dedicated to the job.

"You alright?" asked Peter. "You're getting that look again."

"That was Walter," she said. "Apparently the car just disappeared. All his tests tell him that the car has just traveled to an alternate reality."

Suspenseful music began to play as everybody looked intensely at each other. Sam looked at Peter. Peter looked at Olivia. Olivia looked at Dean. Dean looked at the wiener hut guy.

"Hey guys," said the wiener hut guy. "Did anyone order an extra long wiener with cheese sauce?"

The scene ended.


End file.
